About 12 years ago I got the idea to write a memoir. I know a little bit about writing as I had written the great American novel in the mid-90's, loosely based on a particular time in my life. Twelve publishers agreed it was like the first waffle - it should be thrown out. I couldn't bear to actually do that so it is packed away in a dark corner of a rarely used closet where on rare occasion it calls to me. (I ignore it.) I also put it on a computer disk (remember them?) but I think the disk might have gotten corrupted. And before, anyone asks - no - you can't read it. The publishers were right and I realize now it was more of a personal cathartic exercise for me than a story that needed to be told to the world.
Anyway, the idea of a memoir stayed with me along with the abject rejection I felt from the publishers. I have started it a few times and have several chapter drafts, and once in the late 90's joined a writing group where I made two very good friends - Laura and Karen where are you now? After awhile we broke off from the writing group and formed our own and had a good time getting together but eventually I moved to another state. Anyway, I digress...
So along came the internet and self-publishing and eventually blogging. Over the past year or so clients and some folks who come to my public events have started to say they would like to hear "my story". While I find this surprising on some level (I mean...me?...really?) I also think mine is to some extent a story of survival and eventually thrival - ok, thrival's not really a word but you get my jist and that's called poetic license. And because part of the problem I have with writing is that there is a structure or format that has to be followed and that structure seems to get in the way of my thought process or stream of consciousness and thwart my creative process, so maybe blogging my memoir is the way to go. Besides I no longer expect to be the next Harper Lee.
The title has always been and would be "Witchy Woman" and it would be the story of how I evolved from being an unwanted child in whom few if any saw any value to a psychic medium who, on occasion, brings insight, comfort, and closure and feelings of value and worth to those who need it. I have come to learn my life's goal is to leave this world a little better than it was when I came into it and, whenever possible, ease a little pain along the way. Perhaps not a very lofty goal but it's all I got.
I am open to opinions on this (unless you happen to be a naysayer publisher) so anyone who wants to post a comment on this idea is welcome to.
It is now dawn, my favorite time of day, and a time I rarely get to see since I am essentially a nite owl (not a compatible mix) - perhaps I was really meant to be a never-sleeping-Forks, Washington-dwelling-vampire, some of you will get that. So I'm going to go get a cup of tea, enjoy the dawn.
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Kathe,
ReplyDeleteI think this is a wonderful idea. As a closet writer myself I have also started upteen times my own memoir/autobiography. But I get so far with it then hit a roadblock. Years ago when i was in college I self-published (and by that i mean I printed and binded by myself...lol) a short little book with very personal meaning that I distributed to a few people. I had a fairly supportive response, but given the nature of the book i struggled with publishing it officially. (a series of letters written between my inner child and I) I felt that somehow I would be betraying that young part of me that i had worked so hard to come to know and trust, and she to know me and trust me that i felt publishing through a publisher didn't feel right. Not to mention as you said the form and structure publishers would require don't quite fit my personal writing style.
So I say "Go For It!" I haven't seen your posts since your first one in April, as for some reason i haven't received any emails that you have been posting. But now that I know you are I will be stopping by regularly to follow your story. I have thoroughly enjoyed your ponderings and musings and look forward to reading more of your insights and observations as time progresses.
In regards to your comments on forgiveness, you are an inspiration and someone I feel a kinship with as I completely understand your point of view. Someday I will have to write and share a little of my story, but coming from a somewhat similar background (not being wanted thing) forgiveness has been a difficult theme in my life. Both my husband and best friend don't seem to understand why i would ever want to forgive some of the people in my life, but i truly believe that in order to heal my wounds and ever be able to forgive myself i need to be able to have compassion for their wounds and find a way to forgive them. Am i completely crazy?
I hope you continue to heal swiftly and as painlessly as possible. and that Spirit continues to send you just what you need...but nothing in excess! LOL :)
Mandie
PS. I saw love today at the lake, a couple picnicking lakeside with fancy glasses and gazing adoringly into each other's eyes as they shared a light meal this afternoon. It was quite refreshing...and yesterday, four women shared lunch at the lake after spending the morning kayaking. a couple of them had prepared sandwiches and fruit and snacks for them to enjoy after their excursion. What a delight it was to hear them giggle and chuckle about life and good food.